Svaha

 Just found there is only 20 posts from July and it is the very end of 2025! I have been occupied so much.  Things came up very quickly and no I foresaw. As consequences went, I was able to deal with them but my energy obviously dropped: I dozed off a lot.  Financial issues followed.  These came up with my aging speed. I should slow down and take care of myself as the priority. To begin with my glasses 👓 

 According to astrology, I need to pay attention to the flow of money in 2026. Isn’t it A timely warning?  My income has been reducing sharply, not even enough to pay Y’s rent. At the same time my spending has increased significantly.  Need to cancel PC Card: a card that totally a messed up because I can’t get the full statements. This is the first thing 2026 to do. And then Scotia bank too. No used but costly to the monthly fee. And then CIBC.  Really need to clear up my accounts of banks, I found I lost track of them. Too busy is no longer an excuse, after all I make rather few money. 

 Constantly falling down is a bad sign of aging danger. Especially it happened three times in two days.  The bad weather certainly was the cause. But not everyone falls down, doesn’t it? I must deal with such dangerous conditions. No longer young when recovering is quick and easy. Such awareness is necessary for me to keep it in mind.  Rule No. is always slowing down.  And I lost my Presto card again! I bet it was lost in the bus since it was warm and I took off my jacket, and that was when I lost it.  Very bad day today: falling down twice and lost Presto. 

 It is a mystery but I can figure out.  Don’t know why but I am pretty sure what it happened.  I found the original box of the portable mic but I didn’t ask him where it came from. Now I can picture the whole thing went.  It must have taken place when I worked. Of course it was he told her, HuiLing. Just not sure if he asked her coming  in our home because he did know where I gathered all the tools things. He didn’t think I need to know.  In fact he exposed me for clues. He never appeared so interested to her but this time.  I knew he took her to the brick factory the same route we used to hike to. That was why she can’t help herself but said that the ⛺️ was still there.  That was 2023 July, just right after I broke up with him. I certainly can perceive that something fishy. I should go through his blog to get the exact date he was trying hard to please her.  Hue is too young for him, so all must have gone underground; especially if she was s...

 I perceived that he still am interested in HuiLing’s, he cares her likes and dislikes when I talked about her.  His reaction was not normal, but very much immediately asked for more of her situations. This was not what he said he had no romantic feelings towards her, at all.  I am getting older, I must think that he needs someone to take care of him after I die.  He very clearly has no interest whatsoever my situation is. His selfishness is a good thing and I should not worry too much since he certainly does take care of himself. But a bad quality life style. And I believe he would look for women because he knows women can serve him well. And there are always women in DDM. I shouldn’t worry too much. And the bottom line is Ashley who is his niece.  I have a feeling that he is expecting HuiLing’s. I have asked Sarah to keep her around. As long as she is around DDM, eventually I can find out if he is really into her, and help out. I need to arrange the rest of my...

 Very annoyed with what happened recently; luckily Meg still connected with me and shared the truth of Myriam did. But both of us dared to say it out. We work for DDM as practicing volunteers, and accidentally found or rather saw what happened in this organization: Myriam as a president who only cares about her achievements and gets Fashi’s attention and praise. Everyone is her tool for her ambitions. Meg plans to gradually quit the role in DDM while I have no plans to do the same. Obviously I volunteer for my love, he needs DDM.  It is very much hopeless but only if a new president is  elected at the end of 2026. That means we are going to no time for family but with DDM.  Of course he is very important to DDM, but I do know he needs DDM to be recognized and honoured. Once there is a need, he has no way out. Especially now he is recognized as a teacher officially, he even has become a slave of fame. I don’t see there being any chance he can release himself from it. ...

 It is a thing that kept me pondering a lot. No doubt I should listen to the advice to leave the poisonous environment, DDM where I have spent so much time and energy. What a waste of my life just because an evil woman who trampled on my dignity and hard work.  But at the same time, I also realized that I didn't really believe he would stand by me and fight for me. I know he needs DDM and that is why I didn't trust him.  It is not a fair war. I should have asked my therapist I knew what the traps she did: transferring the bad thing of bullying me, and put me at the bad situation that I was a silly foreigner who didn't know " I love you" is very normal in daily life. The thing is, she tended to mislead Fashi what did happen.  The unacceptable things she did on me are suppression of my work purposely, directly ignored what I did, what work I did. Two meetings I was excluded, she did this in a delightful tone that she can do this on me. Just like she thought that she...