Svaha

 Life moves on as people used to say. Officially, we have moved in for three months, and still try to make things easier. At the most important point is, he to me and I to him a both ways communication and needs should be  completely exchanged, and both of us can reach a way to live with. Or not. It is just taking time to figure out as time goes by. I am the mature one supposedly, and hard to myself. Compromising turned out not so easy. I got back to take pills to sleep. Sofas are never a good solution because back pain followed;  and then the study room must be left without door is another thing I need to overcome.  He doesn't really take it into concern or I have not perceived it. However, we began to meditate together, that is a good gesture though. Not that I didn't appreciate his nice attitude, but I found myself having hard time to sleep and wake on time to serve breakfast. Back to the days setting alarm clock, but the first day failed; guest it was caused that...

 I asked him a date: a Tuesday movie night. And he took it into consideration, and replied a yes. It appeared surprising: he came even earlier than I. It is kind of a reminder which brought us back to the last time we were at the Carlton theatre: too short time to get supper and ended at the next door burger store, and no time to eat in but take out again!  " Friendship" told a short story that people would pay extremely cost to be not alone. Even at shameless way. It is just an entertainment, nothing really taken into serious, but I immediately thought that if I would pay any cost to make friends, keep friends.  It brought me a comment which an old one told me that I was very strictly standing at the justice side no matter what. And I doubted it since. I rather am an outsider to look upon what happened, and try not to involve. Suddenly he popped up at my mind : he is the one shows me this attitude toward the things took place at our surroundings. In a way it is he shows ...

 How frustrated I am. It has been a week I am intwined with the thought: does he care about me? at all? Yes, we encountered a difficulty that I can not overcome it: my snore makes him sleepless, and I immediately responded : sleep on couch. The backpain pushed me to find a way to change it. And I asked him to move out the study and I can have the bed to sleep.  He said he will move in weekend, and nothing happened until I took action, I moved his tables to the main room.  He must have shocked that how angry I was. But he made me so. Still I am angry.  Anger does not help at all. I knew I need to talk to him, but what I expect from him? He only concerns himself.